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9 Things Every Engaged Couple Should Talk About

first_img Tweet Share 73 Views   no discussions Share Sharecenter_img LifestyleRelationships 9 Things Every Engaged Couple Should Talk About by: – June 19, 2014 Alignment on some key values and compatibility on certain topics is crucial to an enduring marriage. You are bound to experience tests as a couple, both internal and external. Therefore there are conversations that need to take place when you know you and your fiancé are going to spend the rest of your lives together, as teammates.MoneyHow will money be handled once you are married? Assets, paychecks, inherited sums. What happens if one of you loses a job unexpectedly? Being married means you are a team and need to be on the same financial page, as this is a huge, contentious issue for many couples who divorce. If there was a single thing that separated my first husband and I, it was completely opposing views about how to spend money. Harmony on this subject is crucial for long-term unity.ChildrenDo you want them? When? How? How many? What values, ideals, and education do you want them to have? Will there be a stay home parent? “Yes, we both want children” is not enough.WorkloadThis refers to all of the unpaid work at home. How will this be divided? This issue can be an unpleasant shock if you don’t cohabitate before you wed, or discuss who will clean the toilets, take out the trash, or vacuum. FamilyWhat is your anticipation of the involvement of in-laws, siblings, holidays/vacations with extended family? Will you see them every weekend? Once a month? Two to three times a year? This can be an especially important conversation if one or both of you is an only-child.Elderly ParentsWhat will your physical and financial commitment look like? This is remarkably easy to overlook if you marry in your twenties. But, marriage is supposed to be forever, so at some point this conversation is going to become relevant. People in their 40s are now referred to as the “sandwich generation” – raising children while taking care of ageing parents. What will your roles and responsibilities be for your parents and in-laws?Sexual ExpectationsSex while dating or being engaged can be very different from sex with your husband 10 years down the road. Many couples seek therapy or counseling if one or both partners do not feel satisfied in the bedroom after many years together. It’s important to stay connected physically and having a recurring date night once a week can help keep the intimacy alive.Life PrioritiesWhat matters most to you both? Do you want to really nest and settle down or instead go traveling together? Go back to school? Do you want to volunteer in India? Save for a beach house? Talk about your aspirations and objectives and get comfortable with a relative timeline.DealbreakersWatching sports all weekend with his friends on the couch. Coming home drunk at 1 a.m. on a work night. Working non-stop 16 hours days. Blowing cash in Vegas. Over-the-top flirtation with other people. Unnecessary jealousy. What won’t you put up with over time? Repetitive behavior that upsets either of you does not bode well for a happy future together.SupportIn difficult times we all communicate differently. My husband likes time alone and I love to talk it out. We now allow for both and understand what the other requires. Its important to voice how you need to feel loved and supported and then you ask (and provide) what your spouse needs.These conversations can raise many other talking points and you need to remember that no matter how much ground is made, life is still dynamic and ever changing—you need to be flexible. As the old proverb goes, “we make plans and the gods laugh!”But getting aligned before marriage is the key to making it last. The fact you can discuss and agree on central subjects (in a mature and calm way) is the most important thing. Even if in a few years life looks different or you feel different to how you did when you married. Our relationship has experienced many changes over the years as we moved to New York City from Sydney (and started over), changed jobs, had shifts in income, and decided for now to not have children. The goal as a couple is that no topic is off the table for discussion. This means that, with your teammate beside you, almost anything can be overcome.Marieclaire Sharing is caring!last_img read more

FIFA goes after Blatter, Platini in bid to recover $2m

first_imgRelatedPosts Super Eagles soar on FIFA ranking COVID-19: FIFA count cost to football Blatter faces probe in Switzerland World football ruling body FIFA on Monday filed claims in a court in Switzerland seeking to recover two million Swiss francs (about £1.56 million) from former French football star Michel Platini. It said the money was paid inappropriately by ex-FIFA President Sepp Blatter to Platini. “FIFA has today filed claims in the relevant Swiss courts against former FIFA President Joseph Blatter and former FIFA Vice-President Michel Platini, seeking restitution of the two million francs unduly paid to Platini back in February 2011,” FIFA said. It added it was “duty-bound to try to recover the funds illicitly paid by one former official to another”. Blatter and Platini, who could not immediately be reached for comments, have maintained they did nothing wrong. This has come amid what became part of the biggest corruption scandal to shake the world football body, resulting in numerous prosecutions and convictions in the US. Both men were banned from football in late 2015 over the payment made to the Frenchman by FIFA with Blatter’s approval in 2011 for work he had done a decade earlier. Platini, the head of European football body UEFA from 2007 to 2015, was originally banned from all football-related activities for eight years. The Court of Arbitration for Sport later reduced the suspension to four years, with his ban ending this year. Blatter’s ban was reduced from eight years to six, a period later upheld by CAS. This was a decision which concluded that the now-83-year-old had “breached the FIFA Code of Ethics since the payment amounted to an undue gift as it had no contractual basis”.Tags: FIFAMichel PlatiniSepp Blatterlast_img read more

DROP THE PUCK: UW ready for RIT

first_imgSenior forward Aaron Bendickson and the Wisconsin men\’s hockey team is set to face off with the RIT Tigers in Thursday\’s semifinal game in Detroit. UW has had 11 days off since its last game.[/media-credit]Wisconsin is tired of talking about its Frozen Four matchup with the Rochester Institute of Technology.They have had an extra week to think about it, an extra week to practice for it and now the Badgers want nothing more than to see the puck finally drop in Ford Field.“I’m real anxious to get going. You can only talk about it so much, and all we’ve been able to do is talk about these games,” senior tri-captain Ben Street said. “We just want to get out there and get it started.”After playing through a demanding, pressure-packed postseason schedule, where the Badgers played in the WCHA Final Five and the NCAA West regional, UW and the other three Frozen Four teams have had a rare extended period without game action.Street, who will be playing in his second Frozen Four after helping to win a national championship in 2006, had trouble keeping busy with so much time between games.“It’s been boring. We have all this time off, and I don’t even know what to do with myself,” Street said. “I mean there has been a lot going on in the sports world. Opening Day of baseball, college basketball wrapping up, it seems like everyone else is doing a bunch of stuff, and we are just practicing.”It is fair to say senior forward Aaron Bendickson is tired of waiting as well.“It sucks to have to wait this long,” Bendickson said. “Everyone is just really jacked to play.”Tonight, the wait is over and the Badgers are set to take on the RIT this afternoon.According to Bendickson, anticipation for the Frozen Four created tremendous energy that was put to good use in practice.“Practice has been really competitive,” he said. “You can tell people are hungry to play because everyone is just going after it really hard.”UW hopes the rigorous practice sessions have helped it prepare for the intensity the Badgers will face in Detroit. As a No. 4 seed in the NCAA tournament, the energized RIT squad has emerged as the tournament’s Cinderella story.The Tigers shocked Denver, the WCHA regular season champion, in the opening round and proceeded to take down Hockey East regular season champ New Hampshire in the East regional final. Now, the former Division II and Division III national champions are headed to Detroit looking for another title.RIT may have snuck up on opponents in the early rounds of the tournament, but UW head coach Mike Eaves knows full well the upset-minded Tigers will come out with a lot of energy and present a difficult challenge for the Badgers.“They are going to get after it. They are going to finish every check,” Eaves said. “And they may be as good as any team I’ve seen in the defensive zone.”The Badgers are one of the top scoring teams in the nation, but Eaves and the Badgers know RIT will attempt to play a tight defensive game to keep scoring chances limited.That strategy has worked particularly well for the Tigers due to the performance of goaltender Jared DeMichiel. The senior has been red-hot between the pipes for RIT, allowing only three goals in two NCAA tournament games, and his play has spearheaded the Tigers’ NCAA tournament run.UW junior goaltender Scott Gudmandson has played pretty well in his own right, making crucial saves in the Badgers’ tight wins over Vermont and St. Cloud State.With his counterpart playing with such confidence, Gudmandson hopes to see lot of the commotion and activity in front of the other net as the Badgers plan on testing DeMichiel early and often.“They are real good defensively so we need to work them down low and get a lot of traffic in front of that goalie,” Gudmandson said.The Badgers know the game plan, and they’ve waited long enough to execute it.Now after all the preparation, they are ready to continue their pursuit of a national championship.“It’s so exciting,” Gudmandson said. “We can’t wait to get out on that ice.”last_img read more