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Should you date a man who is separated?.

first_img Sharing is caring! Share 46 Views   no discussions Share Tweetcenter_img LifestyleRelationships Should you date a man who is separated?. by: – June 3, 2011 Share By Abiola AbramsLast Thursday I slipped on my pre-recession, nappa tie-back Jimmy Choos, grabbed my subway Metrocard and headed out to meet my favorite boys and girls at the glam rock weekly dance party Ladyland. Ladyland, incidentally, takes place at the usually staid Hudson Library in Manhattan. My tribe was brimming with energetic positivity as we caught up.Then a tall Wall Street type waved and smiled from the next table. He had a sturdy medium build and was slightly rumpled with a sweetly crooked smile. As he was one of the only guys in the room not wearing jeans skinner than mine I waved back. After he bought a round of drinks for our table he sat down and we started talking about the club, the news and recently outed celebrity love children.“Well, you’re not married, right?” I asked jokingly as he wrote his cell phone number on a business card.“Separated,” he said, suddenly looking like somebody bought up all of his favorite stock. It turned out that he had been legally separated for 7\seven months from his wife of six years. “We live separate lives in separate cities,” he explained. “We are absolutely getting divorced. I am just trying to sort out the financial aspects of it first.”So should you ever date a man or woman who is separated from their spouse but not yet divorced? No. Absolutely not. Nunca. Never.Should You Date Him If He Is Legally Separated?A person who is separated from their spouse, whether legally or by circumstance, is still married. As anyone who has ever badmouthed a friend’s ex-boyfriend only to have them reunite as a happy couple knows, break ups don’t always “take.” My parents had two legal separations when I was growing up and they are now one of the cutest married couples I know.There are too many fish in the sea to go after the ones that someone else already caught. When the person is officially signature-on-the-deed divorced then (and only then) they are single and available, physically at least. Then when you date them you only risk being the rebound chick, not the home-wrecker.When You’re The Separated OneThe reverse of the question is should you date when you are separated? I know from experience that ending a marriage takes time. When you know for a fact that your marriage is over, you want to move on quickly to the next chapter of your life but it is also a time of healing. For some of us that means crying in a ball on the kitchen floor for four months. Others of us find comfort dancing on tables with our girlfriends.Only you know in your heart whether the relationship is truly dismantled. Unlike when dating a person who is separated, if you are the separated one, you know whether your divorce plans are imminent.Dating is fun if we allow it to be. Like I always say, be good. And if you can’t be good, be safe.last_img read more

PCP: Who’s more embarrassed?

first_imgHenson: Well, they say there is a first time for everything. And now, for the first time ever, a Heisman trophy winner is forfeiting college football’s most coveted award. After months of speculation, Reggie Bush is giving the Heisman back. Bush has embarrassed not only himself in the investigations involving his career at Southern California, but he has embarrassed his university and the Heisman Trophy Trust with his actions. In 2005, Bush was one of the brightest stars in the world of sports, scoring touchdowns left and right, flying into the end zone at heights we had never really seen before. Every Saturday we knew we were going to see some insane highlights come from the Trojan running back, and he captivated an entire country with his remarkable athletic ability. It’s a shame that historic season had to be tarnished. It’s a shame fans can no longer remember Bush for the jukes and the spins. Instead, we are left with a former Heisman winner who is making news due to the poor decisions of his past. All Bush had to do was wait a couple years, wait until his name was called in the NFL draft. The money would be plentiful, and he could support his family with a hard-earned professional salary. Just stay away from the agents, stay away from the temptations. Instead, Bush elected to take improper benefits, and he’s become the face of a growing problem in college athletics. That’s a far cry from being the face of one of the most storied programs in college football. Now, USC has done all they can to erase Bush from their memory. Images and references of the electrifying running back have been removed from anything and everything involving USC. After years of hard work and dedication to a school, all it took was a couple mistakes to ruin a once proud legacy. Pretty embarrassing if you ask me.Holt: Reggie Bush is but one man. Well, I suppose he embarrassed one of college football’s most storied programs as well, but it’s always ‘USC this’ and ‘USC that,’ and I don’t think anybody outside of SoCal was really that upset about the whole thing. Over on the East Coast, the other team I got sick of hearing about on ESPN made yet another headline for some improper treatment of a media type/television personality. No, that “media type” wasn’t Glenn Beck and in that case, I would have hoped the “improper treatment” involved physical violence and a tire iron. Instead, Ines Sainz, of Mexico’s TV Azteca, was the target of the New York Jets and their catcalls on Saturday. Sainz was waiting to interview quarterback Mark Sanchez (A former Trojan and a Jet? Can he be any more overbearing?) at practice and noticed how passing drills curiously seemed to end near and around her for a great portion of the practice. Later, she was reportedly subject to some hoots, hollers and other “H” words, while in the locker room. Whoopsy daisy. You can’t do that. I’ll back up for a second. Sainz is pretty universally recognized as an attractive woman. The Erin Andrews of Mexican sports television, if you will. She’s the kind of woman who could have you buying her dinner and forking over your bank account info in the same night, using nothing more than a pair of tight jeans and a bat of the eyes. So with that information, this behavior doesn’t seem too bad – if you’re a construction worker in the 1950s. Or an eighth-grade traveling football team. Not a professional athlete – or professional anything, for that matter. Don’t give me that “boys will be boys” nonsense. These men were at work – even if work for them is hitting people and catching a ball. Next time you’re at work, try whistling and catcalling a pretty girl. Then count to 10; that’s roughly how much longer you’ll have a job. Come on Jets. Losing to the Ravens in your shiny new home is pretty bad. But getting just as much press for acting like hormone-crazy high school freshmen? Now there’s a Rex Ryan-sized embarrassment.last_img read more

After Ware’s gruesome leg injury, Louisville has extra motivation to win NCAA Tournament

first_img Facebook Twitter Google+ Kevin Ware’s gruesome leg injury during Louisville’s win over Duke in the Elite Eight Sunday ended his run in the NCAA Tournament, but gave the Cardinals one more significant reason to fight through the championship game. Already a formidable team with a stifling defense and balanced offense, Louisville now has added drive to win the Tournament for Ware.With just over six minutes left in the first half on Sunday, Ware ran from the lane to close out on Duke guard Tyler Thornton, who was about to shoot a 3-pointer from the right wing. Ware jumped up to block the shot, but was late. When he landed, his right leg buckled underneath him. His leg broke, and the bone broke through the skin. It left a horrendous scene until team trainers quickly covered his leg with a towel.Head coach Rick Pitino said he nearly vomited, and some of the Cardinals were close to fainting.Ware was taken to a hospital for emergency surgery. While he was there, Louisville dominated the Blue Devils, eventually winning the Midwest Regional final in an 85-63 blowout.After having the surgery, Ware is already back up and walking, Pitino said on a teleconference Monday. Pitino said he visited Ware Sunday night and said he was in “great spirits.”AdvertisementThis is placeholder text“He’s up and about. He’s on crutches walking,” Pitino said. “They want his blood flowing. They only thing they’re concerned about at this point in the next 48 hours, becomes the bone comes out of the skin, they’re concerned of a chance of infection. If not infection takes place, he’ll be very excited.”Pitino said Ware will likely be out of the hospital by Tuesday, and will remarkably be with the Cardinals when they fly to Atlanta – Ware’s hometown – for the Final Four.When Pitino went to the hospital Sunday night, be brought the Midwest Regional championship trophy with him and left it with Ware. He was a major reason for Louisville winning even though he couldn’t be on the court with his team.“He said ‘Just win the basketball game, I’ll be fine, get me home to Atlanta.’ He kept repeating it over and over,” Pitino said. “That was the only words coming out of his mouth to the players: Just win the game.” Comments Published on April 2, 2013 at 12:31 am Contact Chris: cjiseman@syr.edu | @chris_isemanlast_img read more